Mom always told me that I should be a lawyer because I could argue with a post. As a political science and history double major, arguing a point has been very useful. It is essential to create and develop a very clear argument, while still having an understanding of what opposition you may face.
Arguing is definitely a skill. But, not all skills are good (such as being a good liar...). I have recently rediscovered that my particular technique of arguing does not need to be used within personal relationships.
Apparently, recently pointed out by James, I am incredibly good at driving home a point. However, this usually comes at the expense of listening to someone else's point, or undercutting their argument, or interrupting, or just manipulating any situation to fit my argument. Now, I'm incredibly sweet most of the time (haha... I am!), but I also really like to be right.
The problem with all of this, other than the unhealthy benefits of being able to manipulate most anything, is that I don't contain this skill to academics or mere political debate. I also don't use them on just anyone, because I constantly assess what's going on to make sure everyone is comfortable. This leaves the people that are closest to me to bear the brunt of my need to make a point. I put my blinders on, and stop considering how what I'm saying will really affect them.
Obviously, this is not good. While it's good to discuss something and see where other people are coming from, this style of conversation needs to happen with me no matter who I am with. It's really not very fair or useful for me to argue in the way that I'm use to or good at. The care that I take with other random people's feelings needs to apply to everyone in my life, not just those I am trying to get to know better, etc.
This is something I really really need to consider and be aware of, and essentially stop doing in personal relationships. I love personal growth, but I don't necessarily like working on things that are wrong with me. I know that this is an incredible contradiction, and probably another thing that I need to work on... haha.
However, let's just take this stuff one thing at a time...
Friday, April 28, 2006
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Nicknames
So I was planning on making this space just a space for me to be eloquent and come to amazing conclusions... but that is going out the window for at least this posting.
When I was little... I really really really wanted a nickname. I called Carrie (my older sister) Bubba, because I couldn't say 'sister.' It just sort of ended up sticking. Now I still call my little sister 'Missy-lou,' although I have no idea why. My parents actually called me 'Emikins,' and I still don't know why.
But I wanted a really cool nickname from my really cool friends. It's probably partially because Emily is such a common and pretty much boring name. Even if someone wanted to call me 'Emmie' or 'Em,' usually some other girl already had that as her nickname.
I still think nicknames are a very very cool thing. Names are somewhat personalized, although with the whole Freakonomics study and the craze in baby-naming books, websites, etc, I'm not so sure how much they really truly mean to a person. Parents don't necessarily use the naming process as a time to express individuality (well... most parents). But nicknames are entirely spontaneous and deeply personal. They form because of some crazy event or connection between a couple people, and continue until you have no idea why they started. They actually represent something, or they don't represent anything, and that's why they're fun and fabulous.
I have acquired a few random nicknames throughout high school and college. Justin Parks dubbed me 'Liz' because he thought my middle name was Elizabeth for a long time. This is probably because Julie, Beth, and I convinced him that it was... but whatever. For as long as I can remember Ben has called me 'Emiliii,' although I'm not really sure where that one came from. Boyfriends have called me various things, some I will not mention, but Charlie called me 'Pinky' for a while, and I obviously liked that one.
For now, Lindsey ('Loubird') definitely calls me 'Em,' but in a way that is not boring... mostly in a loud and excited-to-see-me tone. Kareemah calls me 'Shimmer,' either for my love of shimmer lotion or my love of shimmy-ing in the cabaret. Nick Harper still calls me 'Em-Bag-star,' and that makes me smile because it's highly ridiculous.
It takes a certain kind of relationship with a person and spontaneity to develop nicknames, and I think that is absolutely fabulous. I think nicknames are incredibly useful and incredibly fun, and random ones should be used often and always.
When I was little... I really really really wanted a nickname. I called Carrie (my older sister) Bubba, because I couldn't say 'sister.' It just sort of ended up sticking. Now I still call my little sister 'Missy-lou,' although I have no idea why. My parents actually called me 'Emikins,' and I still don't know why.
But I wanted a really cool nickname from my really cool friends. It's probably partially because Emily is such a common and pretty much boring name. Even if someone wanted to call me 'Emmie' or 'Em,' usually some other girl already had that as her nickname.
I still think nicknames are a very very cool thing. Names are somewhat personalized, although with the whole Freakonomics study and the craze in baby-naming books, websites, etc, I'm not so sure how much they really truly mean to a person. Parents don't necessarily use the naming process as a time to express individuality (well... most parents). But nicknames are entirely spontaneous and deeply personal. They form because of some crazy event or connection between a couple people, and continue until you have no idea why they started. They actually represent something, or they don't represent anything, and that's why they're fun and fabulous.
I have acquired a few random nicknames throughout high school and college. Justin Parks dubbed me 'Liz' because he thought my middle name was Elizabeth for a long time. This is probably because Julie, Beth, and I convinced him that it was... but whatever. For as long as I can remember Ben has called me 'Emiliii,' although I'm not really sure where that one came from. Boyfriends have called me various things, some I will not mention, but Charlie called me 'Pinky' for a while, and I obviously liked that one.
For now, Lindsey ('Loubird') definitely calls me 'Em,' but in a way that is not boring... mostly in a loud and excited-to-see-me tone. Kareemah calls me 'Shimmer,' either for my love of shimmer lotion or my love of shimmy-ing in the cabaret. Nick Harper still calls me 'Em-Bag-star,' and that makes me smile because it's highly ridiculous.
It takes a certain kind of relationship with a person and spontaneity to develop nicknames, and I think that is absolutely fabulous. I think nicknames are incredibly useful and incredibly fun, and random ones should be used often and always.
Monday, April 24, 2006
And time is on your side
its on your side, now
Not pushing you down, and all around,
No it's no cause for concern
~coldplay
Clearly, for some reason, this is how I always feel during exams. It's some kind of reverse pressure. Freshman year, at least first semester, I was a little more freaked out. But by now, I know that I always get things done and that this semester won't be any different.
I have a lot to do this week... I mean a lot. I could have helped myself out by doing some work early during last week, or at least this weekend. Instead, I read a 700 page book for fun (I am Charlotte Simmons) last week, spent each night lingering after my various meetings to talk to people, shopped with my mom on Friday, and basically did anything I wanted to all weekend.
I did get a little stressed when I realized today was Monday, but now I'm feeling great. I'm glad that I've learned to be at peace about this, even when it's completely my fault for not getting things done early.
I enjoy exam time. It really has a way of bringing people together, and random things inevitably happen. I'm a little more than excited to see what these next couple weeks bring.
Not pushing you down, and all around,
No it's no cause for concern
~coldplay
Clearly, for some reason, this is how I always feel during exams. It's some kind of reverse pressure. Freshman year, at least first semester, I was a little more freaked out. But by now, I know that I always get things done and that this semester won't be any different.
I have a lot to do this week... I mean a lot. I could have helped myself out by doing some work early during last week, or at least this weekend. Instead, I read a 700 page book for fun (I am Charlotte Simmons) last week, spent each night lingering after my various meetings to talk to people, shopped with my mom on Friday, and basically did anything I wanted to all weekend.
I did get a little stressed when I realized today was Monday, but now I'm feeling great. I'm glad that I've learned to be at peace about this, even when it's completely my fault for not getting things done early.
I enjoy exam time. It really has a way of bringing people together, and random things inevitably happen. I'm a little more than excited to see what these next couple weeks bring.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
I love incoming freshmen...
This comes as no surprise to those of you who really know me. But I love freshmen. I love everything about the freshman experience. And I love to be the one to try to explain the awesomeness of this place and calm all of the fears that every freshman has. I love being the one with the answers and sharing them with those who are so desperate to know everything. That's why I've devoted two summers (and a couple years actually) of my life to freshman orientation, week of welcome, etc.
Last night I got to relive a bit of my orientation leader experience yet again. A girl who went to high school with Lindsey spent the night with us last night. Her name is Emily, and she'll be a freshman in the fall. I look at her and instantly remember how I felt three years ago, just before high school graduation. She seemed excited, but I know that half of that is because you know you're supposed to seem excited. The number one thing she's worried about is her roommate. I think of what a fiasco all of that was summer before my freshman year, but how amazing my roommate situation ended up being. Lindsey and I relayed a few horror stories and how to get out of a roommate you don't like, but mostly I got to tell her my story, of randomly rooming with a girl from CTOPS. I'm now going to be in her wedding next summer, along with a girl from our suite freshman year that we still live with. And the thing about it is that our story is not really uncommon.
I love the look of relief that washes over someone's face when you just talk to them about how great it's really going to be. Emily has no idea what is in store for her for the next four years. Change is incredibly hard, but as I've gotten older (haha now the mature age of 20), I've realized how necessary it is and how amazing it can be. I think of myself three years ago, and pretty much laugh at her. At what I believed, at my fears, and at my own plan for college. God has taken me an incredible distance from where I thought I wanted to be. And he has certainly blessed me in that. I've seen that a little more this weekend, spending two great nights with two incredibly different groups of people. Both have taught me so much... the group that I thought I would be comfortable with a few years ago, and the group that I may not have ever known if it weren't for the crazy path God decided to take me on. I'm glad I never really fought it. Because he knows a heck of a lot more than I do about what's best for me.
Hopefully knowing that will make it easier not to fight it in the future. We have one mere week left of class, and then college as I know it will definitely change. Yes, I will be a senior (craziness... pure craziness), but mostly, some of my closest friends will be miles and miles away. I can't wait to have a real reunion with those people, after they've been gone for a while, and see what God has done in their lives. But for right now, I'm just not sure I'm ready for them to be gone from my every day life.
I adore outgoing seniors...
Last night I got to relive a bit of my orientation leader experience yet again. A girl who went to high school with Lindsey spent the night with us last night. Her name is Emily, and she'll be a freshman in the fall. I look at her and instantly remember how I felt three years ago, just before high school graduation. She seemed excited, but I know that half of that is because you know you're supposed to seem excited. The number one thing she's worried about is her roommate. I think of what a fiasco all of that was summer before my freshman year, but how amazing my roommate situation ended up being. Lindsey and I relayed a few horror stories and how to get out of a roommate you don't like, but mostly I got to tell her my story, of randomly rooming with a girl from CTOPS. I'm now going to be in her wedding next summer, along with a girl from our suite freshman year that we still live with. And the thing about it is that our story is not really uncommon.
I love the look of relief that washes over someone's face when you just talk to them about how great it's really going to be. Emily has no idea what is in store for her for the next four years. Change is incredibly hard, but as I've gotten older (haha now the mature age of 20), I've realized how necessary it is and how amazing it can be. I think of myself three years ago, and pretty much laugh at her. At what I believed, at my fears, and at my own plan for college. God has taken me an incredible distance from where I thought I wanted to be. And he has certainly blessed me in that. I've seen that a little more this weekend, spending two great nights with two incredibly different groups of people. Both have taught me so much... the group that I thought I would be comfortable with a few years ago, and the group that I may not have ever known if it weren't for the crazy path God decided to take me on. I'm glad I never really fought it. Because he knows a heck of a lot more than I do about what's best for me.
Hopefully knowing that will make it easier not to fight it in the future. We have one mere week left of class, and then college as I know it will definitely change. Yes, I will be a senior (craziness... pure craziness), but mostly, some of my closest friends will be miles and miles away. I can't wait to have a real reunion with those people, after they've been gone for a while, and see what God has done in their lives. But for right now, I'm just not sure I'm ready for them to be gone from my every day life.
I adore outgoing seniors...
Friday, April 21, 2006
Ithuteng
Settle in.
Oprah is amazing. I think that pretty much goes without saying, but it's serious. I cry probably weekly because of what she's doing in the world. This is just a little from her website about what her show was about today:
"On May 15, 2004, 11-year-old honor student Hallie Geier got ready to take her dog for an afternoon walk. Just as she stepped into the street in front of her house, she was hit and killed by a car... During the last year of her life she had been saving... to help children affected by AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa. With Hallie's savings, along with contributions to the Love, Hallie Foundation, [her parents] donated $10,000 to Oprah's Angel Network.
Oprah told the Geier family she would personally see that Hallie's money would be put to good use.
Oprah found the perfect place for Hallie's money when she traveled to South Africa—Kids Haven, a residential shelter for abused and abandoned children outside Johannesburg. The home takes in extremely traumatized children, many of whom have left their families because of severe abuse. Many of the girls have been victims of rape."
So of course the Oprah's Angel Network kicks in some cash and boom... they completely furnish, decorate, and redo the dorms at this shelter.
A young girl in South Africa has a greater chance of being raped than she does of learning to read (stat straight from the show).
Now the kicker... when Oprah shows the girls the rooms, she says, "Redoing your room is only a symbol of what we believe is possible for your lives. We wanted to give you a beautiful room because you are beautiful girls and we know you will do beautiful things."
Okay... tears... then one of the girls responds, "Precious pearls and diamonds cannot live up to the gift we got today. Even the gift of gold cannot life up to it, because that gift is money and this gift is love."
Oprah is changing the world. She lives within her means, but she also gives within her means. Oprah is doing a job that she absolutely loves, and is using that career as a catalyst for change. I've been struggling lately with what I want to do for my life because I have so many passions, and I want to do something big. I will never be able to finance the enormous material changes that Oprah can finance (well never is a strong word... but probably not). But, material changes are always secondary to the words and actions that empower and challenge and love people.
I have no idea where I am going to end up. But I do know that I want to strive to do it with love.
"We don't yet see things clearly... But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly."
~1 Corinthians 13:12-13 (the message translation)
Oprah is amazing. I think that pretty much goes without saying, but it's serious. I cry probably weekly because of what she's doing in the world. This is just a little from her website about what her show was about today:
"On May 15, 2004, 11-year-old honor student Hallie Geier got ready to take her dog for an afternoon walk. Just as she stepped into the street in front of her house, she was hit and killed by a car... During the last year of her life she had been saving... to help children affected by AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa. With Hallie's savings, along with contributions to the Love, Hallie Foundation, [her parents] donated $10,000 to Oprah's Angel Network.
Oprah told the Geier family she would personally see that Hallie's money would be put to good use.
Oprah found the perfect place for Hallie's money when she traveled to South Africa—Kids Haven, a residential shelter for abused and abandoned children outside Johannesburg. The home takes in extremely traumatized children, many of whom have left their families because of severe abuse. Many of the girls have been victims of rape."
So of course the Oprah's Angel Network kicks in some cash and boom... they completely furnish, decorate, and redo the dorms at this shelter.
A young girl in South Africa has a greater chance of being raped than she does of learning to read (stat straight from the show).
Now the kicker... when Oprah shows the girls the rooms, she says, "Redoing your room is only a symbol of what we believe is possible for your lives. We wanted to give you a beautiful room because you are beautiful girls and we know you will do beautiful things."
Okay... tears... then one of the girls responds, "Precious pearls and diamonds cannot live up to the gift we got today. Even the gift of gold cannot life up to it, because that gift is money and this gift is love."
Oprah is changing the world. She lives within her means, but she also gives within her means. Oprah is doing a job that she absolutely loves, and is using that career as a catalyst for change. I've been struggling lately with what I want to do for my life because I have so many passions, and I want to do something big. I will never be able to finance the enormous material changes that Oprah can finance (well never is a strong word... but probably not). But, material changes are always secondary to the words and actions that empower and challenge and love people.
I have no idea where I am going to end up. But I do know that I want to strive to do it with love.
"We don't yet see things clearly... But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly."
~1 Corinthians 13:12-13 (the message translation)
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
At the request of Ms. Deluca
So I'm not really sure how all of this works, and I definitely don't know where I want to go with it. I do know that it's several days before exams, and that I should be rational enough not to start another form of procrastination right now. I also know that I am highly irrational when it comes to how I spend my time... at least it may appear that way to some. So, because I think it's a good idea at this moment, I am starting this now.
I was just contemplating the things I really love because a meeting was cancelled, and I actually have most of the afternoon with not a ton to do. A short list of these would include: random deep conversations, the ocean, late night adventures, oprah, reading the new york times, quotes, the opportunities that Carolina (and everyone who goes here) has introduced, law & order: svu, text messaging, changing the world, talking about politics, hello kitty, the great hall lobby...
Most people say they love something if they like it a lot. I truly truly LOVE these things... haha. If I get to do any of them or come into contact with any of them throughout the day, it makes my day and I consider myself blessed. Fortunately today many of these things have happened. It also happens to be a Wednesday, which for this semester means I was lucky enough to eat lunch with two of my favorite people, Nick & Cameron. Rick was with us today too, so it was pretty much a party. We are all very different, but close in a random, this-could-only-happen-under-amazing-circumstances way. They have taught me very different things, some about the world, some about myself, and some random and ridiculous information as well.
My theme lately has been "I really feel sorry for...." and I substitute the ... for things like "anyone who doesn't go to Carolina" (yall know what I'm trying to say) or "anyone who doesn't get excited over little things." Right now I really feel sorry for anyone who doesn't know Nick, Cameron, Rick... and obviously several other people that I love... including Ms. Megan DeLuca, without which I would have never gotten sucked into this whole blog thing.
I was just contemplating the things I really love because a meeting was cancelled, and I actually have most of the afternoon with not a ton to do. A short list of these would include: random deep conversations, the ocean, late night adventures, oprah, reading the new york times, quotes, the opportunities that Carolina (and everyone who goes here) has introduced, law & order: svu, text messaging, changing the world, talking about politics, hello kitty, the great hall lobby...
Most people say they love something if they like it a lot. I truly truly LOVE these things... haha. If I get to do any of them or come into contact with any of them throughout the day, it makes my day and I consider myself blessed. Fortunately today many of these things have happened. It also happens to be a Wednesday, which for this semester means I was lucky enough to eat lunch with two of my favorite people, Nick & Cameron. Rick was with us today too, so it was pretty much a party. We are all very different, but close in a random, this-could-only-happen-under-amazing-circumstances way. They have taught me very different things, some about the world, some about myself, and some random and ridiculous information as well.
My theme lately has been "I really feel sorry for...." and I substitute the ... for things like "anyone who doesn't go to Carolina" (yall know what I'm trying to say) or "anyone who doesn't get excited over little things." Right now I really feel sorry for anyone who doesn't know Nick, Cameron, Rick... and obviously several other people that I love... including Ms. Megan DeLuca, without which I would have never gotten sucked into this whole blog thing.
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