My Skills...

Mom always told me that I should be a lawyer because I could argue with a post. As a political science and history double major, arguing a point has been very useful. It is essential to create and develop a very clear argument, while still having an understanding of what opposition you may face.

Arguing is definitely a skill. But, not all skills are good (such as being a good liar...). I have recently rediscovered that my particular technique of arguing does not need to be used within personal relationships.

Apparently, recently pointed out by James, I am incredibly good at driving home a point. However, this usually comes at the expense of listening to someone else's point, or undercutting their argument, or interrupting, or just manipulating any situation to fit my argument. Now, I'm incredibly sweet most of the time (haha... I am!), but I also really like to be right.

The problem with all of this, other than the unhealthy benefits of being able to manipulate most anything, is that I don't contain this skill to academics or mere political debate. I also don't use them on just anyone, because I constantly assess what's going on to make sure everyone is comfortable. This leaves the people that are closest to me to bear the brunt of my need to make a point. I put my blinders on, and stop considering how what I'm saying will really affect them.

Obviously, this is not good. While it's good to discuss something and see where other people are coming from, this style of conversation needs to happen with me no matter who I am with. It's really not very fair or useful for me to argue in the way that I'm use to or good at. The care that I take with other random people's feelings needs to apply to everyone in my life, not just those I am trying to get to know better, etc.

This is something I really really need to consider and be aware of, and essentially stop doing in personal relationships. I love personal growth, but I don't necessarily like working on things that are wrong with me. I know that this is an incredible contradiction, and probably another thing that I need to work on... haha.

However, let's just take this stuff one thing at a time...