I'm a failure

Well... at life I'm doing okay, but at anything that requires a consistent commitment, such as this blog, I'm a failure. So here's what I've been up to lately (mostly for Megan's summer procrastination pleasure):

Sometime between the end of May and early June, I became addicted to LOST. It's all Cameron's fault really. I managed to watch both seasons in nearly record time, and get caught up with what the heck is happening in the Lost Experience game. While I don't really play it myself, it's really fun to read up on everything that's happening.

My job at Duke has officially started, and it has been interesting to say the least. I've worked really long hours before (umm, Orientation), but this seems ridiculous for some reason to me because I am literally gone for nearly 12 hours each day, and 4ish on Saturday. The kids I'm dealing with really are pretty smart, but that really just makes them better at making excuses and doing things sneakily that they aren't supposed to be doing.

I feel like I'm gaining a lot of experience from all of this that will be helpful when I teach, but I'm having a hard time enjoying the process. A lot of this has to do with the fact that I hate that I'm enriching the lives of these kids who are all white, fairly well off, and a little arrogant because they've been told their whole lives that they're better/smarter than other people. Debating politics with them, especially issues such as affirmative action, welfare, and just the basic questions of what personal responsibility really means, absolutely drives me crazy. I mean, they're 14/15 years old, so I can't expect them to have incredibly rich and diverse life experiences to back up their views, but it honestly is too much for me to handle for 8 hours a day because I don't feel any of them really understand the privileged position they are in. They all pay quite a bit of money to even go to this program, and they make perfect examples for how much money and a parental push really affects students' performance. I just feel like I'm helping to worsen the inequalities in our educational system by working for a program that is somewhat notorious for being expensive and exclusive. I know that I'm there for a reason, and that these kids need love just as much as any others, but every day I'm really questioning why I'm spending my summer doing something that is handing me more frustrations than anything else.

Other than that, I've fallen into a fairly normal routine of watching crazy MTV reality televisions shows with Cameron. We get to debrief about everything that is going on, and sometimes I'm lucky enough to also see some of the amazing people I worked with last summer. A lot of them are sort of in a tough place this summer... and I am constantly thinking of them and hoping that things are going well.

I've also been enjoying watching Carolina baseball. Knowing several of the guys (at least being acquaintances with most of them) has made it really fun to see them put together this run that they've had during June. It's just so great for all of them, and I've been realizing how incredible Carolina athletics has been since I've been here. Last year, our football team went to a bowl game and we won the men's basketball national championship... this year, our girls' basketball team made it to the final four, and our baseball team is in the college world series. I really don't think anyone could ask for much more than that... Oh and next year we'll probably be amazing at all of those sports once again.

Senior year senior year senior year...